Why oh why, Human Mommy, do you insist on standing under a hot waterfall and dousing yourself with floral, citrusy gels, creams, and ointments that make you smell not like you?
Why don’t you make use of your tongue like a civilized creature?
Your hygiene practices are borderline barbaric and quite disturbing to witness.
—Amber
Daily Feline Wisdom 
Floral and citrusy! None of that in this house, on account of a certain allergic someone.
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Oh, le roi has you well trained! Purrs, Amber
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Amber, you are a beautiful tortie.
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Yes, I am beautiful, partly because I follow a civilized hygiene routine that doesn’t include showers. Purrs, Amber
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We don’t understand why K gets in the shower to make herself cold and wet when it would take her a week to lick herself back to normal without our help.
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It’s a true mystery why Humans do this. Maybe they just don’t know any better, but I’ve tried to instruct Human Mommy in proper licking technique MULTIPLE times. Purrs, Amber
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I often wondered what Norie thought of me showering and having no fur.
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She thought it was awful. We all think it’s awful. Why do you Humans persist in doing this? Purrs, Amber
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I am glad you told me. She never told me this, but I can understand that she would think that. Thank you.
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