Daily Feline and Canine Wisdom

Look, Human Mommy! I’m doing something creative with my tail.

Enough of that…

My tail is now tired.

Innovation is hard work.

—Neo

You’d think that, with all the times she’s gone up and down the stairs, Human Mommy would understand the Stair Toll.

You would be wrong.

I still have to explain that the toll is due prior to descent, that we Toll Collectors do not accept IOUs, and that strokes are appreciated but are not a substitute for hard currency like Tuna, ‘Nip, and chilled cream.

—Apollo

As a Cat, it’s your duty to look a bit affronted when your Human Daddy forcibly scoops you up for a lap cuddle.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, though.

—Lily

Happy 4th of July, Humans!

Kindly refrain from producing those loud booms, bangs, and pops that you often use to mark this holiday, as they might alarm my beloved Little Brother Neo.

We can’t have that, now can we?

—Apollo

This may look like many other photos Human Mommy has taken of me snoozing on my Cat Tree, but if you look more closely, you’ll see that my back paws are crossed.

This is a fancy nap.

—Neo

No more clickety-clackety typing for you, Human Mommy.

As you can see, we’ve taken over your work station.

Now why not make yourself useful by trotting downstairs to fetch us some treats?

—Senior Manager Lily and Junior Manager Neo

Are your Humans not responding promptly enough to your demands to venture outside?

Deploy a strong glare and get some divine back-up from your Goddess Sheba.

—Luna

I’m not big and ferocious just yet, but Big Brother Apollo says I’m well on my way…

…so long as I keep stretching and flexing my Murder Mittens.

—Neo

Stella tells me I’m the Best Chin Rest, but I have other talents as well.

For example, Apollo swears that I am the Best Tail Rest.

—Sunny

Uh-oh! I wrestled hard with Big Brother Apollo and it’s also hot today and my legs seem to have turned to noodles.

Hope they stiffen up soon so I can get back to bouncing and pouncing!

—Neo