April 2016 – Daily Feline Wisdom

Humans lie

Posted on April 30, 2016April 29, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Humans lie. They lie a lot. They will tell you that going to the doctor is “good” for you, that it won’t take long, and that it won’t hurt. Lies, lies, LIES…

Forgiveness can be purchased only with honest tuna, paid up front upon your return home, with interest due to the emotional distress you suffered when you were shoved into a rigid, coffin-like carrier and taken, against your will and despite your protests, to the vet for needless tests and multiple pokes, even though you feel just bloody fine.

Hiss…

It takes a lot of tuna to forgive a liar.

–Charlie

Aim Higher

Posted on April 29, 2016April 29, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Never settle. Always aim higher.

–Amber

Wrong places

Posted on April 28, 2016April 28, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

There is no wrong place to sleep.

–Lily

The Right Size

Posted on April 27, 2016April 27, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Bouquets should be proportional to the areas they adorn.

Too big or too small throws off the feng shui.

–Quicksilver

Home Theaters

Posted on April 26, 2016April 26, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Depending on your cable or satellite service, you may no longer require a DVD or Blu-ray player to get the best in home entertainment.

Replace the old, clunky players with a modern, sleek Catbox.

He may not play anything, per se, but his glare will let you know that what you’re watching isn’t cool.

–Darth Vader

It takes a dog

Posted on April 25, 2016April 23, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Cats, with their pointy claws, can start the important work of turning your living room couch into an artful, postmodern, deconstructionist statement piece, but it takes a dog to finish the job.

–Cosmo

Purse Strings

Posted on April 24, 2016April 23, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Take control of the purse strings if you find yourself running low on treats, catnip and/or sundry mouse toys.

If your Humans shop online, all the better.

Their passwords are one of your names. Guaranteed.

–Finnegan

Planting Time

Posted on April 23, 2016April 21, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Sit on the seeds. That will make them grow faster.

–Quicksilver

Good Looks

Posted on April 22, 2016April 20, 2016 by sevencatsandcounting

Good looks make everything better. For example, when you are waiting an inordinately long time for your Humans to twist open the faucet of youth, you can check yourself out in the bathroom mirror and think “yeah, I’ve still got it.”

–Charlie