Pizza, again?!
Wouldn’t a can or a few cans or a dozen cans of tuna be tastier and healthier for us all, Humans?
–Quicksilver
Thou shalt not pass…
Thou shalt not pass…
…unless thou hast tuna.
–Amber
Toll Collector
Make it easy for your Humans to pay the Stair Toll!
Position yourself next to two empty bowls, one for traffic coming up the stairs and one for down, in which the Humans can deposit the requisite toll of freshly uncanned tuna.
–Darth Vader
Rabbit Kick
No one survives the Rabbit-Kick-of-Death!
Not unless they are offering a can or two or three or bakers dozen of Tuna…
Get the Tuna, quickly, before I render your dominant opposable thumb inactive, Human!
–Phelps
Ingress and Egress
Not only do great Guard Cats prevent ingress of intruders, we also prevent egress of our Human Servants.
Unless you guys are heading out to fetch tuna for our supper… In that case, be our guest.
–Darth Vader and Quicksilver
Beverage Pairing
A fine tuna meal requires a fine drink.
Water will do but nothing complements tuna like cream.
–Luna
But that is my cream!
–Lily
Creepy Crawly
I killed the Creepy Crawly, Human Mommy!
I even refrained from eating it so that you could see my good work.
Where’s my reward?
P.S. I accept payment in Tuna (packed in water not oil), Catnip (the fancy organic kind not the supermarket rotgut), Cream (full fat NOT fat free) and bitcoin.
–Luna
Fireworks vs. Tuna
Happy Fourth of July, Humans!
Instead of celebrating your freedom with a barrage of noisy fireworks, why not open a series of tuna cans for us, the most independent creatures ever, American Cats?
–Finnegan and Quicksilver
New Couch
Thank you, Humans, for installing this new couch in our private, members-only Cat club, sometimes erroneously referred to as a front porch.
What’s that, Humans? You want to sit on our couch?
No, you may not.
First, you are not members, membership is by invitation only and, even if we were to invite you, the club fees amount to more cans of tuna than you can afford.
Second, the only remaining cushion is reserved for our esteemed club member Quicksilver.
–Phelps and Darth
Rose PetalsÂ
What a lovely, colorful salad bar you have set up for me, Human Mommy!
May I assume that a fine tuna entree will be forthcoming?
A Kitten cannot thrive on rose petals alone.
–Luna
Daily Feline Wisdom 