Thank you, Humans, for installing this new couch in our private, members-only Cat club, sometimes erroneously referred to as a front porch.
What’s that, Humans? You want to sit on our couch?
No, you may not.
First, you are not members, membership is by invitation only and, even if we were to invite you, the club fees amount to more cans of tuna than you can afford.
Second, the only remaining cushion is reserved for our esteemed club member Quicksilver.
–Phelps and Darth
What do you mean this basket of clean laundry is not a bed, Human Mommy?
It is quite lovely for a lie-down.
What’s that, Human Mommy, you want to know where the lint roller is?
How should I know?
–Luna
Some of us let it all hang out the moment we make it over the hump.
Some of us reserve our excitement for Friday or Thursday at least.
–Phelps
Looking for the best seat in the house? Pick the Human with the softest lap.
–Darth Vader
Waking up to beauty makes every morning better, even Monday morning.
–Amber
DIY project, Humans? Don’t expect me to help but I sure can supervise.
–Darth Vader
No photos, papparrazzi!
Can’t a Celebricat get a moment of privacy from you cellphone wielding Humans?!
Did you not hear me? NO PICTURES!!
If you don’t put that cellphone down IMMEDIATELY I’ll take it from you!
–Phelps
This sheet is still whitish, but I am definitely darkening it with my midnight fur.
Just a few more weeks and it will be perfect.
What’s that? My Humans will toss it in the wash before I achieve my aesthetic vision of a sheet that glistens like the Hope Diamond?
Pffft… If they haven’t done it yet, what makes you think they’ll do it soon?
–Darth Vader
Uh oh! This cardboard box I launched myself into is much too narrow and too deep. I’m stuck.
HELP!
I’ll save you, Luna! What do you want me to do? Topple your box prison, gnaw through the cardboard or a combination of both?
–Luna and Cosmo
Woofies grow up too fast. That is why it is essential to train them when they are relatively small, preferably smaller than you, in order to instill a proper respect for Cats in them.
In the Woofies’ imagination, I will always be a Lion.
–Quicksilver
Daily Feline Wisdom 