It’s not the same as licking the water droplets out of the drippy faucet. Still, it’s better than nothing.
When your Human Mommy abandons you, it is helpful to know how many days she will be gone in order to mete out her punishment upon her return. You can sniff her carryon, count her socks, or simply hack her smartphone to extract her itinerary.
Concentrate all of your energy on the faucet long enough and it will start dripping again.
Concentrate your energy on the door. You can open it with the power of your mind.
Are there Woofies on your bed? Go up high. You might even make new friends, like Mr. Donkey and the friendly dragons on the paper lantern the Humans never did figure out how to install.
Cats own everything they touch.
These sparkly pink flip-flops therefore belong to the Cat attached to the tail that is strategically touching both of them to maintain control of the pair, not just one, because no one wants a single sandal.
No, I am not dead.
Yes, I could be dying.
The heat dome is particularly dangerous for those of us with black, heat-absorbing fur.
Are you under a heat dome? Is your drippy faucet broken? Have your Neanderthal Humans failed to call a plumber to fix the faucet because they prefer showers?
You are going to die.
Stare hard at your Humans so that they understand your untimely demise is ALL THEIR FAULT.
When the Humans are no longer in the bathroom, take a restorative glug from the toilet.
Little Finnegan says it’s not half bad and things are not yet dire enough that you need to drink from your water bowl.
With a good sniffer, nothing is ever truly lost, not even the frisbee that was “misplaced” in the underbrush for several months.
When the temperatures are unbearably hot, curl yourself up for a nap in the AC on top of a white comforter.
You may dream that you’re napping on a glacier like a regular polar cat.