Your laptop bag?
You don’t mean my cushion, do you, Human Mommy?
No, I won’t give it back.
Speaking of laptops, can you cool it with the typing?
The clickity-clackety sound of the keys is disrupting my nap.
Correction, Human Mommy. These were your shoes.
Now they are mine.
Want to own the street?
Stalk down the sidewalk like a Boss.
See that stripey Ginger behind me? He knows I own it.
Want to own a Human’s lap?
Easy, dig your claws in.
–Orzo, Guest Contributor
This chair is taken. Find another.
Cats own everything they touch.
These sparkly pink flip-flops therefore belong to the Cat attached to the tail that is strategically touching both of them to maintain control of the pair, not just one, because no one wants a single sandal.