Sometimes the Humans put out an unusually nice spread for you, the Cats.
Guacamole flavored chips, who knew?
–Luna
Naps
Nap like you mean it.
–Finnegan
Blend in
Is the gentle rippling of your garden stream lulling you to sleep? Don’t resist, but do be careful to position yourself on top of an appropriately camouflaging stone as you don’t want anyone to disturb your luxurious nap.
–Quicksilver
Helping Out
Sure, Kitties, Humans are there to serve us. We all know that.
Still, you can demonstrate your magnamity by lending a helping paw when the Humans try, ineffectually, to perform routine household tasks, like changing the sheets on our bed.
Silly Humans! How on earth do they expect us Kitties to sleep soundly and awaken refreshed without a fine sheen of feline fur on our sheets?
–Luna
You Smell Weird
Why can’t you just lick yourself clean like we Cats do, Human Mommy? You may not realize it, given the inferiority of your nose, but you smell weird every time you get out of the shower, like chlorine and plastic and false botanical notes.
You no longer smell like your shoes.
You no longer smell like you.
–Amber
Always Look Sharp
Always look sharp, as you never know when the cellphone-wielding Humans will try to capture your official portrait.
–Stella and Cosmo
The Lion in Winter
The Lion in Winter really prefers to bask in the hopeful, hesitant sun rays of Spring.
–Charlie
Cat Caesar
I came. I saw. I sat.
–Finnegan
Go Away
Go away. I had a raucous Friday night of catnip and carousing and, allegedly, Silvervine, although I can’t really remember that part all that well, or if I’m being honest, any of the parts of last night except for the part where I threw up in your shoe.
Sorry about that, but let’s be honest, you earned it by awakening me this painfully bright Saturday morning.
Go away.
–Lily
To swipe or not to swipe
To swipe or not to swipe the Woofie’s nose with a dagger-filled paw, that is the question.
–Luna
My nose isn’t bleeding, yet. I knew I was growing on her!
–Cosmo
Daily Feline Wisdom 