Since the beginning of Feline/Human Cohabitation, we Cats have been collecting data on what you Humans do in the bathroom.
My Human is showering. I must keep track of the time, the water usage, and temperature then run all these data points through a complex equation that proves licking oneself is more efficient and more civilized.
Then I must upload my findings to the North American Feline Meta-Data Human Bathroom Usage Cloud-Based SharePaw Site.
Data analysis is exhausting.
–Louie, Senior Lap Muffin Contributor
Are your Humans still here, in your space, disrupting your naps with their clickity-clackity typing?
Do you have to monitor their every move to ensure that they are working and not wasting time on Candy Crush or browsing Amazon?
It’s hard to be the Boss Cat.
–Orzo, Guest Contributor
And the squeaky ball is mine!
Stuck inside? Don’t stress…
Learn to lounge like a Cat.
Why you are here, Human, eyeing my bed so coveteously?
You say you are stuck in my palace…
Social distancing, you say…
In that case, kindly distance yourself both socially and physically from my bed.
It is time for the Queen’s mid-morning nap.
–Lexie, Guest Contributor*
*Does your Cat (or Woofie) want to be a Guest Contributor? Send a picture to email@example.com.
Stuck in the house? Feeling stressed out?
Work off your feelings by savaging the nearest stuffie with the Rabbit Kick of Death.
–Jasper, Guest Contributor
Come no closer, Human! My Humans are Social Distancing.
That’s you, Human Daddy? My bad…
I didn’t recognize you in that stylish hat.
All you Humans are going on and on about the importance of not touching your faces.
Question: If it’s so important, why aren’t you all wearing cones?!
–Louis Catorze, Guest Contributor
Check out Louis Catorze’s iamthesunking blog.
Does your Cat want to be a Guest Contributor? Send your Cat’s picture to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Good morning, Human!
I know you may want to sleep in a bit more, given that it’s Sunday, but you can’t…
…because I have hijacked the blanket and pillow.
–Tucker, Guest Contributor