It’s essential to stay hydrated when temperatures soar.

Don’t drink out of the silly bowls the Humans provide for you. Drink exclusively from the drippy faucet of youth.

Seriously, it’s at least 9 times more hydrating than regular water.

Trust me.

Depending on the Google result you consult, I’m at least 80 years old.

I don’t look a day over 60, though, do I?


Nothing to Drink

Are you under a heat dome? Is your drippy faucet broken? Have your Neanderthal Humans failed to call a plumber to fix the faucet because they prefer showers?

You are going to die.

Stare hard at your Humans so that they understand your untimely demise is ALL THEIR FAULT.

When the Humans are no longer in the bathroom, take a restorative glug from the toilet.

Little Finnegan says it’s not half bad and things are not yet dire enough that you need to drink from your water bowl.