I used to help Human Daddy with the fire.
It’s Xena’s turn now.
Maybe I can start helping Human Mommy with her wine.
–Cosmo
Referees
Millenial Cats will quarrel impetuously from time to time.
Such is the nature of youth!
If things get out of paw, though, the referees must step in.
That’s enough, youngsters!
–Darth Vader and Quicksilver
Ingenue
You can be an ingenue at any age.
It’s all about the eyes, the fur and the je-ne-sais-quoi.
–Amber
Queuing Part 2
So it turns out that there is no App for avoiding the wait at the Drippy Faucet of Youth.
Any venture capitalists following this blog?
Have I got a great startup pitch for you!
–Luna
Sorry not Sorry
“Age before beauty,” at least when it comes to the Drippy Faucet of Youth.
Unless you’re a Millennial Kitten. Then you’ll for sure try to cut in line.
–Lily and Charlie
I don’t want to be part of the narrative of waiting in line. Isn’t there an app where we can schedule our faucet time?
So I tried to cut. Sorry not sorry.
–Luna
Hydration
It’s essential to stay hydrated when temperatures soar.
Don’t drink out of the silly bowls the Humans provide for you. Drink exclusively from the drippy faucet of youth.
Seriously, it’s at least 9 times more hydrating than regular water.
Trust me.
Depending on the Google result you consult, I’m at least 80 years old.
I don’t look a day over 60, though, do I?
–Charlie
Jump
I read an informative WordPress Post yesterday.
I learned that, at a mere 15 years old, I am considered “geriatric.”
I don’t feel “geriatric,” not at all.
Just look at how high I can jump!
–Charlie
Bachelor Pad
Choose your bachelor pad wisely. If you like a bit of action, don’t move too far out to the country–youthful Kittens will keep you young.
On the other paw, be sure that your pad is protected from the hurly-burly of the youngsters’ catnip-fueled disputes. Kittens may do fine with a mere 18 hours of sleep daily, but you require a minimum of 20 hours.
Most importantly, make sure that your pad is in close proximity to the best place in the house, i.e. the kitchen.
–Charlie
Respect
Do the younger Cats display insufficient respect to you, the Catriarch, ever since they discovered that your previous Humans removed your claws because they loved their furniture more than you?
Time to make a Woofie ally.
–Charlie
Parents won’t always get your style
Do your parents not understand your style? For example, are they constantly telling you to fix your ears because they’re inside-out?
Don’t pay them any mind. They mean well, but they’re too old to know that it’s trendy to expose the pink insides of your floppy ears to match your pretty pink collar.
–Stella
Daily Feline Wisdom 