Ne touche pas!

All you Humans are going on and on about the importance of not touching your faces.

Question: If it’s so important, why aren’t you all wearing cones?!

–Louis Catorze, Guest Contributor

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Check out Louis Catorze’s iamthesunking blog.

Does your Cat want to be a Guest Contributor? Send your Cat’s picture to finneganthekitten@gmail.com.

No, but…

No, Human, you cannot get the chair back.

You may stroke my irresistible tummy, so long as you understand that my murder mittens and/or fangs will automatically deploy when you achieve a specific, ever changing, seemingly arbitrary level of tummy stimulus.

And, no, stroking my tummy will not restore you chair privileges.

–Louie, Guest Contributor