Scram

The Woofies are allowed to be here, Humans, on their designated couch as they are (regretfully to some) members of the Private-Members-Only-Cat-and-Woofie Club, sometimes erroneously referred to as the front porch.

What are you Humans doing here?

You are not members and we all know you could never afford the Club fees, payable in tuna, catnip, Bitcoin and/or marrow bones.

Scram before I have to alert Club Security, aka the larger Woofie Members.

–Darth Vader

Introducing Paulie

Hello! My name is Paulie. I rented this one-bedroom, open concept, unfurnished cottage for myself and my SO Molly.

Rent is low (free actually) but it’s not the best neighborhood. You have to watch out for clumsy Woofies, Meowies, and Meowies pretending to be stones.

–Paulie