Month: May 2024

Have you had a long, hard week stuffed into a flower collar?

While it’s preferable to a traditional option, it’s still a CONE.

All I’m saying is that it’s 5:00 pm somewhere.

—Louie, Senior Lap Muffin Correspondent

The Lion King prowls his unmown veldt…

…and finds it good.

—Finnegan

Yes, Humans, we know there’s a full bowl of Kibble a few steps away in the Private-Members-Only-Cat-and-Woofie Club, sometimes erroneously referred to as the front porch.

The thing is, we don’t feel like eating al fresco.

Chop-chop! Dining Room Service should not take so long.

—Darth Vader and Luna

Just as Luna is an Ornithologist, I’m an Ichthyologist.

Please cool it with the photos, Human Mommy!

You’re interrupting the scientific process by scaring the Fishies.

—Lily

When I’m not out waging mighty battles…

…I enjoy sitting on my lovely throne, befitting a Warrior Princess.

—Xena

Besides being Human Mommy’s manager and academic dean, I am also her personal trainer.

Pick up the pace, Human Mommy! You’ll never catch a Mousie at that speed, let alone a Birdie.

—Amber

Human Mommy has returned to grad school, so in addition to being her Cat Manager on weekdays, I must now be her Cat Dean, too.

Human Mommy’s professional and academic success depends entirely on me.

—Amber

My Human Mommy took me to a totally unnecessary, preventative VET visit and then stuffed me into a stiff cone to prevent me from performing the necessary licking of the patch that was unnecessarily shaved to allow for the unnecessary blood draw.

Fortunately, my Human Mommy saw the error in her ways and replaced the stiff cone with an altogether fetching flower, which doubles as a comfy nap pillow.

I am still peeved, though. Very peeved.

—Louie, Senior Lap Muffin Contributor

My Human Mommy took me to a totally unnecessary, preventative VET visit and then stuffed me into a stiff cone to prevent me from performing the necessary licking of the patch that was unnecessarily shaved to allow for the unnecessary blood draw.

Fortunately, my Human Mommy saw the error in her ways and replaced the stiff cone with an altogether fetching flower, which doubles as a comfy nap pillow.

I am still peeved, though. Very peeved.

—Louie, Senior Lap Muffin Contributor

Human Daddy finally installed the AC unit in the window to prevent his beloved Hound from melting over the coming months.

Thank Dog for AC…

…and Thank Dog for Human Daddy!

—Cosmo