Month: October 2025

Most days are grand but today not so much.

Human Daddy took me to the Vet to get my glands expressed and the doctor had to lance me to get it all out.

The worst part?

The cone. Paws down, the cone.

—Xena

So, I know I had lunch and multiple snacks, but you should know that I’ve also got an extremely fast metabolism.

I’m hoping dinner will be served soon since there’s NOTHING left in my tummy and I’m STARVING.

—Cosmo

May I go up the stairs, Apollo?

You may come up the stairs, Xena, only if you’ve got the toll. I’ve taken over Stair Toll Collections for Auntie Lily today.

Now please pay up in Tuna, Cream, Bitcoin, or, my preference, Temptations.

—Apollo

No, Human Mommy, bathroom breaks are not permitted when you are TUC (Trapped Under Cat) and certainly not when you are simultaneously TUD (Trapped Under Dog.)

You’ll just have to hold it.

—Darth Vader, Stella, and Sunny

Check out my new house, Lily! Like all great homes, it is made of cardboard.

It has a wide front door and even a side window.

I did quite well on my purchase of a starter home!

—Apollo

Thanks for helping out with the afternoon Guard Shift, Lily!

Apollo offered, but I hate when he pounces on my waggy tail.

—Sunny

No, Humans, you may not take the laundry the rest of the way downstairs.

You parked it here and I claimed it as my new bed.

You may not move it until I say so.

—Lily

Human Daddy! Human DADDY!!!

Apollo and I require your attention!

—Xena and Apollo

The Crime: Embezzlement of a pack of Cat Treats from the countertop to benefit an obviously starving Woofie

The Alleged Criminal: Apollo, Social Justice Warrior, aged 6 months

The Verdict: Not Guilty by reason of the treats not being the kind preferred by Cats and therefore fair game to embezzle for the benefit of the Woofies

—Darth Vader, Cat Court Chief Justice

There’s a chill in the air.

This calls for an extra cozy nap.

—Lily