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Amateur Stair Toll Collectors may find barricades useful in preventing unauthorized ascents and descents.

We professionals, however, achieve impeccable results through the deployment of our laser eyes and the force of our officiousness.

–Amber

Nothing beats…

…a cozy October fire.

–Phelps

Human Daddy moved our benches without our permission.

The new swing is all right, but we still plan to litigate.

–Darth Vader

I love my new loveseat…

…but it’s proven so popular I rarely get a chance to sit on it.

Fortunately, I still have my trusty old bench as a backup.

–Cosmo

Those who have said or implied that I don’t fit in the hot pink Dog bed…

…are obviously flat out WRONG.

–Stella

I am not a mere loaf; I am King of the Loaves.

All hail the King!

–Finnegan

Oooh, look! A new swing!

Very comfy, but I mustn’t swing too hard…

…lest I upset my delicate tummy.

–Xena

I’m in a committed relationship with Stella…

…but that doesn’t prevent me from spending some quality one-on-one time with gorgeous Lily.

–Cosmo

I’m lounging with my girl, basking in front of a crackling fire on a crispy fall evening.

Life doesn’t get better than this.

–Sunny

The new loveseat Human Daddy assembled is much nicer than my old window bench.

My girlfriend Stella also thinks the loveseat is very nice, so it’s unclear if I have actually gained any surface area.

–Cosmo