I sprained my right front paw and the Humans have sent me to the Private Members-Only Cat and Woofie Club, sometimes erroneously referred to as the front porch, to recuperate.
The Humans believe that there are fewer opportunities for mischief in the Club, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.
—Apollo
Little Apollo has given himself a sore front paw from too much bouncing and pouncing.
The Humans have asked me to keep an eye on him, which I will until he wakes up.
After that, the Humans are on their own.
I’m not risking my pretty muzzle to sharp, Little Meowie Murder Mittens.
—Stella
No matter how packed your schedule…
…always be sure to reserve time for Date Night!
—Sunny and Stella
My Human Mommy gave me some drugs to calm me down in order to take me to the dreaded Vet.
I hate the Vet, but the drugs are quite nice.
Pity my Human Mommy doesn’t offer them to me for recreational use.
—Louie, Guest Contributor
This pillow is mine.
If you want one, find your own.
—Xena
A few months ago, the Humans rebranded the room where Human Mommy used to do her clickety-clackety typing as the Guest Room and I subsequently rebranded it as my Private Residence.
Not that I don’t host guests in my room—I totally do.
Never the young upstart, though. He is not invited.
—Luna
What is this? Has the world turned topsy-turvy?!
The Elder Cat should never be last in line for the kibble!
—Darth Vader
It’s Friday leading into a 3-day weekend, Human Mommy.
This calls for an extra long celebratory Tummy Rub!
—Sunny
I’m keep trying to make friends with Big Sis Luna…
…but every time I approach her, she hisses and says some truly unkind things.
Maybe I’ll have better luck with the hanging plant.
—Apollo
Yes, Human Mommy, I am sulking on my pretty pink blanket. Why am I sulking?
Because of the annoying, bouncy, pouncy interloper who is undergoing a major growth spurt but, incredibly, seems to become even bouncier and pouncier as he ages.
Why did you do this to me, Human Mommy?!
—Luna
Daily Feline Wisdom 