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I am both the Elder Cat and reigning Cat King.

As befits my status, I sometimes choose to look down upon my kingdom from the highest perch on the tallest Cat Tree.

—Darth Vader

Oh my Paws! What a perfectly sized Egg.

I’m ever so pleased to install myself as the Kitten yolk.

—Apollo

It’s important to switch up your routine from time to time to keep things fresh.

For example, today I decided to take my early afternoon nap on the shorter downstairs Cat Tree instead of one of the dining room chairs.

Even small changes can be exhausting, so I’ll add an extra hour or two to my snooze.

—Lily

To those who say I’m not a Lap Dog…

…I strongly disagree.

—Cosmo

I’ve got a hugely busy schedule between all the bouncing, pouncing, supervising, and Guard Catting I pack into a day.

Good thing Xena’s stepped up to be my personal trainer so that I remain in tip-top form.

—Apollo

Good thing Xena recruited me for the night watch!

Xena’s got a great Sniffer, but I can see in the dark much better than she can!

—Apollo

Upside-down is not simply a position.

It’s a lifestyle.

—Darth Vader

I like napping with you, Sunny.

I like napping with you, too, Little Apollo…

…especially because you don’t pounce on me when you’re asleep.

—Apollo and Sunny

Looks like you grabbed yourself a snack, Human Mommy.

Do you know who else would like a snack?

Us! We’re practically starving over here!

—Cosmo, Stella, Xena, and Sunny

The Crime: Aggravated Laceration of Human Forehead during Rambunctious Round of Zoomies/Tail Chase

The Alleged Criminal:

Mitigating Factors: The alleged criminal was bored and Human Mommy should have known better than to take a nap in a location where a round of rambunctious zoomies/tail chase could and did occur.

The Verdict: Not Guilty by Reason of Cuteness

—Darth Vader, Cat Court Chief Justice