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So, I know Stella is “using” me for her Chin Rest.

But that’s okay because Stella is my Number 1 Girl.

—Sunny

As a proper Princeling, I select only the most cushioned spots for my royal naps.

If there were a pea under my mattresses, you’d better believe I’d feel it and I would be most annoyed.

—Apollo

So the Humans have replaced my cone with a bagel, which is better…

…but still not good.

—Xena

Most days are grand but today not so much.

Human Daddy took me to the Vet to get my glands expressed and the doctor had to lance me to get it all out.

The worst part?

The cone. Paws down, the cone.

—Xena

So, I know I had lunch and multiple snacks, but you should know that I’ve also got an extremely fast metabolism.

I’m hoping dinner will be served soon since there’s NOTHING left in my tummy and I’m STARVING.

—Cosmo

May I go up the stairs, Apollo?

You may come up the stairs, Xena, only if you’ve got the toll. I’ve taken over Stair Toll Collections for Auntie Lily today.

Now please pay up in Tuna, Cream, Bitcoin, or, my preference, Temptations.

—Apollo

No, Human Mommy, bathroom breaks are not permitted when you are TUC (Trapped Under Cat) and certainly not when you are simultaneously TUD (Trapped Under Dog.)

You’ll just have to hold it.

—Darth Vader, Stella, and Sunny

Check out my new house, Lily! Like all great homes, it is made of cardboard.

It has a wide front door and even a side window.

I did quite well on my purchase of a starter home!

—Apollo

Thanks for helping out with the afternoon Guard Shift, Lily!

Apollo offered, but I hate when he pounces on my waggy tail.

—Sunny

No, Humans, you may not take the laundry the rest of the way downstairs.

You parked it here and I claimed it as my new bed.

You may not move it until I say so.

—Lily