Daily Feline Wisdom

Another Hallmark movie, Human Mommy?

Don’t you find the plot mind-numbing and predictable?

Also, it’s not even December yet!

You really need to pace yourself so that you don’t run out of this seasonal torture… erm… entertainment before Dogsmas.

—Cosmo

Happy Big Bird Day, Humans! Looks like there’s still a bit of Bird on your plate…

Please allow me to assist you with that!

—Cosmo

I initially took some umbrage at Auntie Lily’s cruel statement regarding my ineffectiveness at managing the volume of Human Mommy’s percussive, clickety-clackety typing.

But, upon reflection, I decided to take it as constructive criticism.

It’s true, I have been remiss as Human Mommy’s Cat Manager.

Human Mommy won’t be able to continue her annoying clicks and clacks if she can’t reach the keyboard because I’ve claimed the office chair.

Problem solved.

See that, Auntie Lily, and, more importantly, hear the silence?

I’m a GREAT Cat Manager.

—Apollo

Thus far, young Apollo has shown himself to be ineffective in lowering the volume of Human Mommy’s percussive, clickety-clackety typing.

So I find myself obliged to step into the role of Cat Manager.

Cool it with the typing, Human Mommy. Your Manager is trying to snooze over here.

—Lily

Mondays are rough.

It’s perfectly all right to be antisocial and retreat into the most isolated Dog Bed in the house.

—Stella

I hear that tomorrow’s Monday again, Human Mommy.

That’s bad for you because you’ll have to go back to your percussive, clickety-clackety typing…

…and bad for us because it will interrupt our Lap Time.

—Sunny

I recently discovered shoulders and I’m sure Human Daddy is as excited about this discovery as I am.

Shoulders are a revelation!

—Apollo

I’m the luckiest guy in the world…

…sandwiched, as I am, between two gorgeous gals on the beloved Rainbow Donut.

—Sunny

Look at me perfectly balanced atop the armrest, Human Mommy!

Surely I merit at least a Milk Bone for this fabulous trick.

—Sunny

Yes, I’m a Loaf, an angst-filled Loaf.

My Human Mommy has set the outdoor thermostat much too low and I am currently trapped in the house with an annoying, bouncy, pouncy, rapidly growing interloper.

My fluffy blanket should be dark to match my mood.

—Luna