Daily Feline Wisdom

I have a perfectly curled tail, perfectly groomed stripes, and I have positioned myself in front of a green background to complement my emerald eyes.

I am perfect.

—Lily

Can I have one of Human Daddy’s shoes, Little Apollo, pretty please?

No, Xena. I recently learned that shoes come in pairs, so both of these are mine.

I guess you could gnaw on one of Human Mommy’s sandals if you’re feeling desperate.

—Xena and Apollo

This is exactly what it looks like, Human Mommy.

We are totally plotting.

Next time, we’ll try and find a more discreet location for our machinations.

—Xena and Apollo

I have grudgingly accepted that the Little Guy has moved in.

He is most acceptable when he’s not moving.

—Darth Vader

This used to be Human Daddy’s shoe, but now it is mine.

The end.

—Apollo

TDIF!

Time to let it all hang out!

—Xena

I really wish the Humans would stop closing the bathroom door.

It’s most annoying!

—Apollo

It’s not that I’m antisocial. It’s just that I sometimes find the world a trifle overwhelming.

Those are the times that I’m very grateful for my isolated, under-desk bed.

—Sunny

It’s not half-bad sleeping with the Woofies. Sure, they snore and slobber…

…but they always leave me the pillow!

—Apollo

Humans, did any of us Cats ever indicate in any way whatsoever that we wanted a Kitten?

No, we did not.

So how do you explain the presence of the bouncy, pouncy Little Guy in our previously peaceful Homestead?

—Luna