Daily Feline Wisdom

Oooh, the heat of the crackly fire Human Daddy made for us feels good on my entire body…

…particularly on my titanium knee.

—Stella

Has no one ever told you that it is particularly rude to photograph a Cat Loaf who is pointedly ignoring you?

Well, it is. Now you know.

Be sure to fetch me some treats of apology or, at the very least, allow me to take an unusually lengthy promenade outside to make up for the annoyance you have caused.

—Finnegan

OMD, that spaghetti smells good, Human Daddy!

Guess who else LOVES spaghetti.

Hint: He’s right in front of you.

—Cosmo

It’s been said before and it will be said again…

…Xena is the best Chin Rest, bar none.

—Cosmo

Is a Woofie already installed on your Human Mommy’s lap?

Not your problem.

Pay the Woofie no mind and settle in.

The lap is yours by right because you are the Senior Cat.

—Phelps

I’m always fancy because I wear the bespoke tux I was born in.

When I want to be particularly fancy, I cross my front paws.

—Cosmo

It’s always a good time…

…for a snuggle and an ear skritch.

—Sunny

You’re wonderful, Human Mommy, but you should strive to be more generous in sharing your delicious-smelling quiche…

…with your beloved, starving, first born Dog Son, who hasn’t eaten his fill since Big Bird Day, and even then you and Human Daddy were a bit stingy with the Bird.

—Cosmo

The Humans have been really excited about a new TV they got during Black Friday.

I didn’t really understand until they put on one of my shows.

Now I get it.

—Xena

Human Daddy has provided me with a new, cozy cave for the long, cold months ahead.

To be clear, it is mine and only mine.

I expect to find it undisturbed and unencumbered by another Cat or, Cat forbid, a Woofie when I return from my morning constitutional.

—Phelps