Daily Feline Wisdom

Human Mommy is playing the first of many, many interminable Hallmark Christmas movies today.

It’s not even December yet.

Help me Dog.

—Cosmo

Oh, good! Human Mommy has selected a neon green blanket…

…to complement my gorgeous eyes and provide good contrast to my chic, glossy, black coat.

—Darth Vader

Why can’t I go out, Humans? Because I’m not wearing my collar?

Well, reattach my collar and OPEN THE DOOR!

—Finnegan

On this most special of days, you are more justified than ever…

…in utterly ignoring your Humans when they attempt to shoo you from the kitchen.

—Cosmo and Phelps

Taco night, Human Daddy? It’s not Tuesday, but I’m still up for it.

Hold the lettuce, tomato, and salsa on mine.

The shell is optional, but leave it off if that’ll get me more meat and cheese.

—Cosmo

Balletic Napping is yet another reason…

…Cats are superior beings.

—Lily

Sometimes, I share my fireplace…

…but only when there isn’t a fire in it.

—Phelps

When your Human Mommy returns from an unauthorized trip, a thorough inspection of her bag is de rigueur.

Hmmm… No traces of Apology Catnip, nor evidence of Bribery Treats, and we know from experience that tuna cans can’t make it through the airport metal detectors.

I am most disappointed with you, Human Mommy.

—Lily

When you love somebody, it’s important to show them that you care.

Romantic gestures like paw-holding mean a lot.

—Darth Vader