Reject Portrait #2

Posted on by sevencatsandcounting

Oh no, Humans. You’ve got to be kidding me. This won’t work as my 2023 Official Halloween Portrait at all.

Why, you ask. Must I explain everything? Fine, here goes…

A large black house panther lounges next to a medium-sized pumpkin atop a large red stone in an outdoor garden. The cat’s ears are partially back and he is absolutely glaring at the camera with his yellow eyes. His humans have messed up.

1. My pumpkin is still un-carved. You need to get on that!

2. Only one pumpkin?! Where are my bats, spiders, ghosts, and ravens? For that matter, where are my two other pumpkins?! Halloween is not a time to be low key.

3. Why is the foliage around me still green? It doesn’t “read” fall. Fix that.

4. The lighting is all wrong. Too bright, not nearly spooky enough.

5. You caught me off guard with your kissy-kissy noises and my tail is not ready. I expect more professionalism on set.

6. Why is the pumpkin on my beloved front yard mountain at all? This all looks very staged.

—Darth Vader

Reject Portrait #1

Posted on by sevencatsandcounting

No, Humans, this absolutely cannot serve as my Official 2023 Halloween Portrait.

Why? you ask.

A large black cat sits on a small red border. There are steps and the entrance to a house behind him. Three pumpkins adorn the steps. It is all very Halloweeny but apparently not Halloweeny enough.

First, you took it from too far away and then zoomed in, which diminished its sharpness.

Second, the pumpkins are too much in the background and haven’t even been properly carved yet.

Third, I am in Egyptian pose and I did Egyptian pose last year.

We don’t want a repeat, do we?

—Darth Vader