Why oh why, Human Mommy, do you insist on standing under a hot waterfall and dousing yourself with floral, citrusy gels, creams, and ointments that make you smell not like you?
Why don’t you make use of your tongue like a civilized creature?
Your hygiene practices are borderline barbaric and quite disturbing to witness.
—Amber
We are two handsome gentleman…
…patiently awaiting a well-deserved treat.
—Darth Vader and Cosmo
My trusty hot pink Dog Bed is great for solo lounging…
…but nothing beats the marvelous Sleeping Cloud Grammy Cat gave me for hosting big Snuggle Parties.
—Sunny
It’s true that my trusty hot pink Dog Bed is quite small and not nearly as comfortable as the Sleeping Cloud Grammy Cat gave to me.
Still, my hot pink Dog Bed was my first Dog Bed.
Sometimes I still choose it for a snooze, particularly when I’m feeling nostalgic.
—Sunny
It can be amusing to engage in a staring contest with a fellow Void.
I always win, of course.
—Darth Vader
Oh my, it’s been quite a week!
Best to snooze through Friday Happy Hour or even Saturday brunch.
—Luna
You weren’t thinking of sitting here, were you, Humans?
As you can see, my Woofy brother and I are already comfortably installed.
—Darth Vader
I hereby declare myself the Toll Collector of this fine bridge.
None shall cross the raging river without a proper payment of Milkbones, Dentals, and/or Cheese.
—Cosmo
Congratulations, Humans! Your Cat is in bloom.
As we have discussed previously, your Cat does NOT require watering.
She does require frequent, generous fertilization in the form of Temptations, Cream, and/or Tuna.
—Luna
Human Mommy made the unusually ambitious New Year’s Resolution of making the bed every day this year.
Fortunately, Human Mommy is pragmatic enough to accept when her daily bed-making window has passed.
—Finnegan
