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No, you may not join us, Human Mommy.

We are already comfortably installed on our bed.

If you were serious about napping, you would have started hours ago.

–Finnegan and Luna

The Humans do not always go for a midnight snack, but when either of them does…

…the Pride also congregates.

Hook us up before yourself, Human Mommy.

We are Apex Predators and we outnumber you.

–Darth Vader, et al

Know what would be nice, Human Mommy?

A Tummy Rub would be very nice.

–Sunny

I have always wanted minions.

Pity they’re all Woofies. I guess you have to work with what’s available.

–Lily

When you go on a date, it’s important to be attuned to any red flags.

For example, my date insisted on a seafood place even though she knows I prefer brisket.

And she’s hogging the shrimp! TBH, I don’t like shrimp–it’s the principle of the thing.

–Louie, Senior Lap Muffin Correspondent

This Monday feels like a Monday.

Might as well give up now.

–Lily

I’m a Warrior Princess, a Fearsome Guard Dog, and I may just have the best Sniffer in the whole pack.

Yet sometimes I feel like the other Doggoes just see me as a Chin Rest.

–Xena

Human Mommy, your face is very red after your jog and you appear to be foaming from your mouth a little bit.

Should I call the Vet for you?

–Sunny

Oh, must you use the flash, Human Mommy?!

The deepest, darkest shadow is obviously me.

Illumination destroys the ambiance.

–Darth Vader

3 out of 4 Doggoes are on the bed.

1 of 3 Doggoes is facing the pillows. 2 of 3 Doggoes are facing the foot of the bed.

Little Xena is the Margin of Error, since we don’t know which way she’s facing.

(See?! We told you we could do your job, Human Mommy.)

–Sunny, Stella, and Cosmo