Daily Feline Wisdom

It’s much too hot to clomp on the treadmill, Human Mommy.

Why don’t you try loafing instead?

—Lily

I wanted to catch Human Daddy a nice Squirrel to celebrate his special day, but Human Mommy told me Human Daddy actually doesn’t like gifts of freshly killed rodents.

Who knew, right?

So instead I’m giving Human Daddy a Father’s Day cuddle.

I hope he can feel my heart through my fur so that he knows he’s the best father ever.

—Cosmo

Yes, I know, I’ve got legs for days.

Kindly stop objectifying me and fetch me some treats.

—Darth Vader

TDIF (Thank Dog it’s Friday)!

There’s no better way to celebrate than with a romantic date on the Sleeping Cloud.

—Sunny and Stella

No, Human Mommy, you can’t start your clompety, huffy-puffy workout.

Don’t you see I’m midway through my treadmill program?

—Lily

Hiya! My name is Frieda. I just moved in with my big brother Fritz next to Grammy Cat’s house.

I also just acquired a bright pink unicorn, picked out by Xena and sent to me by her Human Mommy.

I really like my new unicorn and I’m going to play with it very gently, even though Xena tells me that the most fun game with stuffies involves finding their squeakers and removing them.

—Frieda, Guest Contributor

Don’t be jealous, Sunny! You’re my all around favorite Chin Rest.

But sometimes I need the neck stretch only Cosmo can provide.

—Stella

All naps are lovely…

…but a late spring nap with the scent of fresh, young lavender may be the loveliest of all.

—Luna

Think we’ll be getting a lovely Sunday brunch today, Cosmo?

Given the late hour, I think we’ve missed the brunch window, Sunny. I did see Human Daddy bringing in charcoal, though, and you know that means Grilled Meat!

—Sunny and Cosmo

Who dares barge into the Private Members Only Cat and Woofie Club, sometimes erroneously referred to as the front porch?

Oh, it’s you, Human Mommy. Do make yourself useful by fetching me some refreshments.

—Darth Vader