Are your Woofies getting too big? Have your Humans done nothing to slow their alarming growth rate?
Perhaps it’s time to sample the Woofies’ additive – rich cuisine so that you can expand from properly sized domestic cat to wild cheetah or panther as appropriate.
–Amber and Darth Vader
Daily Feline Wisdom 
Don’t – just don’t – because your food is 80 % animal protein, for a dog it’s only 60 % … You are better off with your own food.
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You’re right–we sniffed it. It smells disgusting, not nearly meaty enough. But what are we going to do about the Woofies’ size? They were smaller than us when the Humans brought them home. What happened?! Purrs, Amber and Darth Vader
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They grew – that they were smaller like you when brought home was camouflage.
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Why, oh why, did our Humans do this to us?
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They are selfish … Humans always are selfish.
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Or just plain dumb. We often overhear them exclaiming with joy that Cosmo has gotten so big, that he’s the now the biggest Woofie of his litter, like it’s a good thing. Harrumph… Purrs, Amber and Darth
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No, not dumb – they have other priorities. But selfish to put their priorities over yours, which should come first.
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Right? Everyone knows Cats are the most important members of any household.
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oh is it that simple? sounds like a diy project for me… and I can get the “grow your own panther kit” at a deli, right?
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We don’t quite know how to achieve our maximum size–we sniffed the Woofies’ food and it smelled too gross to sample, even if the special additives could result in exponential growth. Purrs, Amber and Darth Vader
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In the picture you cats don’t look exactly thin. Just remember their brains don’t grow.
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No, we are not thin–we are solidly built. Are you sure the Woofies’ brains won’t grow? If not, we suppose we can easily keep bossing them around despite our diminutive, albeit solid, stature. Purrs, Amber and Darth Vader
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No worries, cats always rule.
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Yes, yes we do. Purrs, Amber and Darth Vader
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