As Cats, sometimes you have to deliver uncomfortable truths to your Humans, such as the fact that there is no room for them on the bed.
–Amber, Quicksilver, Finnegan, Darth Vader and Phelps
Queuing up for Kibble
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a Cat is in line for the kibble or not, particularly if she’s a Millennial Kitty, facing the wrong way, stretched out nonchalantly as if she’s not even hungry, caught up in texting or pokemoning or whatever else she’s doing with her snowy white paw.
Cut in front. Age before beauty.
–Phelps
Whatcha doing Mommy?
Humans tend to be pretty predictable, doing the same things over and over again, day in and day out.
Sometimes, though, Human Mommy will do something new, something you’ve never ever seen her do before in the 10 months you’ve been living with her.
When this happens, it’s okay to stare. Try to figure what she’s doing, why she’s doing it and, most importantly, if it can benefit you like her cooking does.
–Cosmo and Stella
Take the Fifth
Are your Humans home unexpectedly early? Is the larger Woofie inexplicably immobilized? Are you sitting pretty on top of his crate?
Take the Fifth.
–Amber
Discoverers
If you are attentive and observant, once and awhile you stumble upon a hidden room in one of your known rooms.
You discovered it. Now it’s yours.
–Lily
Sharing
Cats do not like sharing. If you give us a single pile of treats, we will stare at it, at you and at each other until one Cat relinquishes control or you apportion the treats correctly, as you should have done in the beginning.
That’s better.
–Quicksilver and Darth Vader
Too much stuff
Do your Humans have too much stuff? Do they keep accumulating more stuff even though they have more than enough?
Feel free to give them a hard time, but not too hard because you don’t really want them to stop accumulating stuff as that would mean no more new boxes.
–Amber
A Guard Cat’s Duty…
Suppose you’ve spent all day defending the fort.
Suppose you come inside, all tuckered out, and realize that there’s simmering chicken broth attracting the likes of hounds and mini-hounds and puppy-hounds and whatever else falls under the general canine designation.
Pull yourself together.
A Guard Cat’s duty is never done.
–Phelps
Birthday Boy
When it’s your very first birthday, you may not know what to do. That’s okay.
Human Daddy will explain how to blow out the candle on your peanut butter/carrot cake.
As for the eating of your cake, trust your instincts and you’ll know what to do.
–Cosmo
Spread the Love
If you love everyone equally and strongly, they may just learn to love each other.
–Darth Vader, Cosmo, Human Daddy and Amber
