Naughty List

Dear Santa Claws,

So this is pretty much what it looks like, but please let us explain. Human Daddy left us all alone to do some last minute shopping and Human Mommy abandoned us in favor of a late morning nap upstairs. What were two teething, bored, lonely Dogs supposed to do?

It’s Dogsmas Eve, Santa Claws, so we imagine that you are already in your sleigh, busy delivering toys to nice Puppies in the most distant time zones.

Surely it is too late to add us to the Naughty List?

Woofs and Wags,

Cosmo and Stella 

Puppy Eyes

Are your Humans trying to enforce an unreasonable rule* like “no furry children in the bedroom while the Humans are away at the mysterious place they call ‘work’?”

Time to deploy the Puppy Eyes and a grand Puppy Yawn.

–Stella and Cosmo 

*This rule is obviously unreasonable because we have nothing good to lounge on in our living room given that we have eaten all of our futon mattresses, our couch, a comfy side chair and a footrest.

Apologies

Sometimes you have to apologize.

For example, you should apologize after you chew the back plates off of the supposedly indestructible dinosaur Human Mommy procured for you 2 days ago on Amazon Prime.

Sorry pink Stegosaurus.

Sorry Couch.

Sorry Futon mattress.

Sorry decorative wood trim, various shoes, wooden coffee table, etc.

You were all delicious, if it makes it any better, which it probably doesn’t.

Sorry for your extinction.

–Cosmo