Even when it’s too hot and you’re too tired to play fetch, guard your Frisbee in case another Dog tries to take what’s rightfully yours.
–Cosmo
Unorthodox Situations
Are your Humans hauling the new futon mattress into the spare room every time they leave the Woofies in the living room unattended?
As a Cat, you should make the most of the situation.
–Darth, Phelps, and Finnegan
Ignoring your Humans
Ignoring your Humans is difficult, necessary business. Stay strong, no matter how loudly they make the kissy-kissy-food-will-be-forthcoming sound.
–Finnegan
Invite yourself
Don’t fret if you aren’t officially invited to partake of the evening aperitif.
Simply invite yourself.
–Quicksilver
Reading
Reading makes you smarter.
–Amber
Hair of the Dog
Did you find yourself sleeping in your bathroom this morning with absolutely no idea how you got there?
It’s the price you pay for a wild Friday night.
Now pull yourself together and stalk the Dogs.
Their hairs are great for hangovers.
–Lily
A King is a King
A king is a king, no matter where he chooses to sit.
–Quicksilver
Materialism
Do not let your Humans become materialistic by purchasing the same materials over and over again.
Tell them you won’t chew the new futon mattress they purchased to replace the inexplicably damaged futon mattress they purchased to replace the couch you allegedly ate.
It’s for your Humans’ own good and the good of their wallets and thus the good of your treat supply, even if it’s not 100% true.
–Cosmo and Stella
Damaged Goods
Be careful ordering goods online, as they often arrive damaged.
For example, the prominent tear in your new futon mattress was probably always there.
Or maybe you accidentally tore the futon mattress yourself when you opened its packaging.
Either way, a hole adds character, don’t you think?
–Cosmo
Get a pawdicure first
Is your Human Mommy considering heading out in her strappy sandals without first tending to her bottom paws?
Do not let her.
A pawdicure is de riguer with strappy sandals.
–Amber
Daily Feline and Canine Wisdom 