Are you a large cat posing in front of a large lasagna? Don’t play into the cliché.
Ignore the lasagna. Demand tuna.
–Phelps
Apologies
Sometimes you have to apologize.
For example, you should apologize after you chew the back plates off of the supposedly indestructible dinosaur Human Mommy procured for you 2 days ago on Amazon Prime.
Sorry pink Stegosaurus.
Sorry Couch.
Sorry Futon mattress.
Sorry decorative wood trim, various shoes, wooden coffee table, etc.
You were all delicious, if it makes it any better, which it probably doesn’t.
Sorry for your extinction.
–Cosmo
Occupy it
If you run across an unoccupied basket, occupy it immediately. There’s no telling if and when you’ll find another.
–Finnegan
TGIF
Happy Friday, Humans. Tomorrow you can lounge around, just like we Cats do every day of the week.
Just be sure to awaken and tend to us Cats when it is Food o’clock or Play o’clock or I’m-Bored o’clock.
It might be a good idea to tend to the Woofies, too. The noise pollution of untended Woofies disturbs our feline REM sleep.
Also, don’t even think about lounging in our spots. They are our spots. Find your own.
–Phelps
Magic
Who says that Meowies are the only magical animals? We Woofies can do magic, too. Just look how we created snowdrifts, on our couch, on a hot August morning.
–Cosmo and Stella
Because I love you…
Just because I love you doesn’t mean I want a cuddle right now.
–Lily
Cat Art
Humans, just because we break an occasional porcelain feline figurine, doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate your efforts to idolize us through a collection of Cat Art.
–Finnegan
Good Company
Some of the best parties have good company but subpar Woofie food.
Sniff the food politely and then find a mutually stimulating topic of conversation like squirrels.
–Darth and Charlie
The food smells delicious to me. Just saying…
–Cosmo
Get some Bed Time
Are the Meowies locked in a seemingly endless, inter-feline dispute over who gets to nap on the new mattress when?
Take advantage of the situation and stretch yourselves out on the disputed territory.
Multilateral cat negotiations take time, time that you can spend napping in comfort.
–Stella and Cosmo
Identity Crisis
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you are a Cat or a pancake.
No worries–you’ll figure it out sooner or later, just as soon as the nip wears off or somebody shows up with a pitcher of syrup.
–Lily
