We cats are sorry that you have to go to work, humans. Perhaps if you were covered in glossy fur and knew how to purr, you too could have an opposable – thumbed staff to tend to your every need and desire.
–Quicksilver
Heels
Stylish girls pick out shoes that go with their stripes.
–Lily
Hand-me-downs
Winter is cold for us kitties. Winter is even colder for our humans who lack fur. Help your humans by shedding on their bathmat. Your hand-me-down fur will adhere to their damp feet, providing insulation.
–Phelps
Good Fences
Good fences make good neighbors.
–Finnegan
Grooming
Look after your appearance by grooming yourself frequently, wherever you happen to be.
–Quicksilver
Group Photos
If you want to take a group photo of your seven cats, you need to crack open several cans of wet food.
–Lily, Finnegan, Amber, Darth Vader, Phelps, Charlie, and Quicksilver
Just so you know…
Just so you know, humans, when we stare at you like this, we are imagining what you taste like.
–Darth Vader and Amber
Winter Sunbeams
Make the most of the winter sunbeams streaming through your windows. Now is no time to develop a vitamin D deficiency.
–Quicksilver
Different Words
You call it a “puppy bed.” I call it a “California King Size Cat Bed.” We use different words for the same thing. The only difference is that puppies are never, EVER allowed on my bed.
–Amber
Be Clear
Never depend on others to guess what you want. Be clear about your desires. If you want dinner, don’t waste your time languishing on the couch. Jump straight up onto the dining room table to let your humans know that starvation is imminent.
–Quicksilver
