It’s one thing to relax in an empty dog crate.
It’s quite another to stretch out, tail to tail, with a sleeping Woofie who uses a bone as her pillow.
–Darth Vader
Feeding Time
Find a safe spot to collect field notes on the Woofies’ feeding time behavior.
–Lily
Futons II
If your Humans insist on assembling the new futon because two of the three of you allegedly ate the couch, don’t stand in their way. Futons can be surprisingly comfortable.
–Darth Vader, Stella and Cosmo
Futons
Did the futon you ordered online because the Woofies ate the couch arrive missing some crucial parts? No worries…
The futon’s cardboard box makes for an adequate lounging spot. There’s really no need to assemble anything.
–Lily, Amber and Darth Vader
Munchies
Got the munchies? Check out the contents of your fridge before ordering delivery.
Delivery takes up to an hour, there might be something equally delicious in your fridge already, and sooner or later your Humans may figure out you hacked their OrderUp and GrubHub accounts.
–Cosmo
Cat Time
Sometimes* cats need cat time, no puppies** involved.
–Phelps and Charlie
*“Sometimes” sometimes means “at all times,” depending on the context.
**If puppies are the context, “sometimes” means “at all times, forever and ever and EVER.”
Springtime
Springtime means muddy paw prints on a wooden boardwalk.
–Cosmo
Good Girl
Practice basic puppy commands regularly. When she sits, purr “good girl” and retract your claws slightly, so that only the glass-etching points remain, half-camouflaged beneath your paw fur.
She’s a good girl.
She’ll learn.
–Lily, Finnegan, and Amber
Don’t be intimidated…
Don’t be intimidated even if the Woofie’s head and neck appear larger than your entire body.
–Amber
They grow up too fast…
Puppies get big way too fast.
That’s why it’s so important to hiss and growl and swat at them when they are still small enough to internalize a lifelong fear of cats.
–Darth Vader
Daily Feline Wisdom 