If you crouch down really low, you will be undetectable to the cat on the other side of the bush until you pounce.
–Quicksilver and Amber
Futons
Did the futon you ordered online because the Woofies ate the couch arrive missing some crucial parts? No worries…
The futon’s cardboard box makes for an adequate lounging spot. There’s really no need to assemble anything.
–Lily, Amber and Darth Vader
Munchies
Got the munchies? Check out the contents of your fridge before ordering delivery.
Delivery takes up to an hour, there might be something equally delicious in your fridge already, and sooner or later your Humans may figure out you hacked their OrderUp and GrubHub accounts.
–Cosmo
Cat Time
Sometimes* cats need cat time, no puppies** involved.
–Phelps and Charlie
*“Sometimes” sometimes means “at all times,” depending on the context.
**If puppies are the context, “sometimes” means “at all times, forever and ever and EVER.”
Springtime
Springtime means muddy paw prints on a wooden boardwalk.
–Cosmo
Find your oasis
Find your oasis and visit it frequently.
–Lily
Charming Efforts
Praise your Human Mommy for picking out blazers that go with your glistening, tortoise-shell fur. Admittedly, your Human Mommy will never be as pretty as you are, but she’s charming for imitating you, as best she can.
–Amber
Alternative Hydration Sources
Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.
–Finnegan
The Morning Opera
The Morning Opera of Starvation is most effective with a large cast of cats. So long as the chorus can pick up the melody, the mezzo-soprano can abandon her aria by flopping on the floor and grooming her whiskers, as divas do.
Humans are not discerning. Keep the volume up and you’re sure to get the wet food for which you sing.
–Phelps, Quicksilver, Lily, and Darth Vader
Late Bloomers
It takes time for lions to grow into their paws. Don’t worry if you grow slower than the Woofies. You’ll get there and when you do, you’ll be magnificent.
–Finnegan
