It is not ideal to sleep with Woofies, but it is tolerable, provided they leave you the pillows.
–Amber
Effects of DIY Projects
Always consider the longterm effects of your DIY projects before undertaking them. For example, if you Humans do not enjoy tripping over lounging Felines on your way upstairs and down, perhaps you shouldn’t have installed cushy carpet stair treads.
Swearing about the current situation, even at length, solves nothing.
Now the stairs both belong and are desirable to us, the Cats.
Humans, what did you expect would happen?
–Lily
Beautiful Disappointment
A true beauty is beautiful in all of her emotional states, including happiness, sadness, anger, and disappointment at her Humans’ slowness in catering to her every whim.
–Amber
Waiting in Line
Even if you have nearly 9 lives saved up, waiting in line is the worst thing ever.
–Charlie
True Love
You will know when you find true love. Don’t question it. Your heart knows.
–Stella
Catlike Balance
This position only looks precarious to Humans who lack a catlike sense of balance. Poor Humans!
–Charlie
Find your Color Palette
Find your Color Palette and adhere to it. For example, if you have dark grey fur and white paws, you are probably a “winter.” You look your best curled up on a light grey background. Be sure curl your snowy paws so that they pop.
–Quicksilver
H2O and Omega 3
When you arrive at a pond, drink from it. Hydration is important. If a goldfish arrives in your mouth, eat it. Omega 3 is important, too.
–Finnegan
Stealth Masters
When you really, really, really want something, like spaghetti, pretend to be asleep. Spring into action at the propitious moment when the spaghetti is unguarded because the Humans believe you to be deep in dreamland.
–Cosmo and Darth Vader
Guilt Trips
If your Humans tell you that they have run out of kitty treats, don’t stop begging. Au contraire, send your Humans on a guilt trip by intensifying your gaze and letting your meow warble with hunger. At least they’ll feel bad and at best they’ll crack open a can of tuna to apologize.
–Quicksilver
