Sometimes you have to apologize.
For example, you should apologize after you chew the back plates off of the supposedly indestructible dinosaur Human Mommy procured for you 2 days ago on Amazon Prime.
Sorry pink Stegosaurus.
Sorry Couch.
Sorry Futon mattress.
Sorry decorative wood trim, various shoes, wooden coffee table, etc.
You were all delicious, if it makes it any better, which it probably doesn’t.
Sorry for your extinction.
–Cosmo
Biting your loved ones doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It just means you’re still teething.
–Stella
Do not let your Humans become materialistic by purchasing the same materials over and over again.
Tell them you won’t chew the new futon mattress they purchased to replace the inexplicably damaged futon mattress they purchased to replace the couch you allegedly ate.
It’s for your Humans’ own good and the good of their wallets and thus the good of your treat supply, even if it’s not 100% true.
–Cosmo and Stella
Did the futon you ordered online because the Woofies ate the couch arrive missing some crucial parts? No worries…
The futon’s cardboard box makes for an adequate lounging spot. There’s really no need to assemble anything.
–Lily, Amber and Darth Vader
Frustrated? Bored? Chew on something. It will make you feel better.
–Cosmo
Daily Feline Wisdom 