Naps can happen anytime, anywhere. The afternoon Grand Siesta, however, is best performed on a soft pillow, on a big bed.
–Quicksilver
Supervision
If your humans are not receptive to your paws-on assistance with housework, the least you can do is supervise them from high up.
–Lily
Tax Time
You don’t have to be an accountant to help your humans with their taxes; you just have to sit on their documents.
–Darth Vader
Home Improvement
Nothing improves a room like a wide, carpet-covered window seat.
–Lily
Saying “I love you”
Some cats say “I love you” to their humans simply by purring. Purring is good, but if you really, truly love your people, you should bestow a loving flesh wound on them now and again.
–Phelps
Magnificent Inscrutability
Maintain order in your castle by adopting an air of magnificent inscrutability.
–Darth Vader
Then we remember…
Sometimes, humans, we wonder why we keep you around. Then we remember that you have opposable thumbs and that we have trained you to use them to our advantage.
–Amber, Darth Vader, Phelps, Quicksilver, Lily and Finnegan
Snake Hunter
When it’s too cold to hunt birds outside, amuse yourself by preying on the puppy’s toys strewn around the living room. The squeaky boa constrictor befits a young, bored lion, though it would be even better if the snake were filled with nip.
–Finnegan
Making Friends
It is not always easy to make new friends. Just keep being friendly by wagging your tail and following your potential friend around. Admittedly, there’s a fine line between “following” and “chasing” and your potential friend would probably prefer that you refrain from nipping at her undulating, stripy tail until you are in a committed relationship and she has swiped at nose no fewer than 47 times.
It’s hard to make friends.
–Cosmo
Sharing
When sharing a bed, it is important to stay on your own side.
–Darth Vader and Cosmo
Daily Feline Wisdom 