A king is a king, no matter where he chooses to sit.
–Quicksilver
Materialism
Do not let your Humans become materialistic by purchasing the same materials over and over again.
Tell them you won’t chew the new futon mattress they purchased to replace the inexplicably damaged futon mattress they purchased to replace the couch you allegedly ate.
It’s for your Humans’ own good and the good of their wallets and thus the good of your treat supply, even if it’s not 100% true.
–Cosmo and Stella
Damaged Goods
Be careful ordering goods online, as they often arrive damaged.
For example, the prominent tear in your new futon mattress was probably always there.
Or maybe you accidentally tore the futon mattress yourself when you opened its packaging.
Either way, a hole adds character, don’t you think?
–Cosmo
Get a pawdicure first
Is your Human Mommy considering heading out in her strappy sandals without first tending to her bottom paws?
Do not let her.
A pawdicure is de riguer with strappy sandals.
–Amber
Napping Skills
Every nap can be a teaching moment.
–Darth Vader
Pay close attention to your Cat teachers, and you can learn to nap like a pro.
–Cosmo
Too Hot
Did your airconditioner die on the first truly hot day of the spring? No worries– just make friends with the cool tile floor.
–Amber and Lily
Perfect Selfie
For the perfect selfie, angle your head just so and give a big smile to show off your pearly white teeth and your pretty pink tongue.
–Stella
Balance
Balance may come naturally but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t practice.
–Finnegan
Adventurous Relaxation III
Try relaxing in a small box while alert Woofies circle you.
It’s not nearly as relaxing as it looks.
–Lily
In the Way
Do your Humans ever tell you that you are “in the way” or, worse, that you should “get out of the way this instant”?
Silly Humans.
Cats are never in the way. We are always right where we are meant to be as the universe conforms to our whims.
–Amber
