When you really, really, really want something, like spaghetti, pretend to be asleep. Spring into action at the propitious moment when the spaghetti is unguarded because the Humans believe you to be deep in dreamland.
–Cosmo and Darth Vader
Guilt Trips
If your Humans tell you that they have run out of kitty treats, don’t stop begging. Au contraire, send your Humans on a guilt trip by intensifying your gaze and letting your meow warble with hunger. At least they’ll feel bad and at best they’ll crack open a can of tuna to apologize.
–Quicksilver
Kisses
Kiss your beloved as often as you can. There’s no such thing as too many kisses.
–Cosmo
Seasonal Pleasures
Nothing compares to flopping down and rolling about on the newly thawed sidewalk on an unseasonably warm March day.
–Lily
Almost Springtime
Spring is almost here. Venture outside the fort to get some fresh air and to reestablish your dominance as the neighborhood watch cats.
–Phelps and Darth
Shrinking Laps
Don’t worry if your favorite lap seems smaller than it used to. You’re still a lapdog so long as your Human Daddy says you fit.
–Cosmo
Spicy Catnip
Nothing says Friday like a catnip-filled pepper.
–Quicksilver
Shopping Local versus Shopping Online
There’s something to be said for shopping local. Those canvas bags your Humans use are fun to sleep and shed on. Amazon, however, provides you with enormous, paper-filled boxes and doesn’t require your Humans to leave the house, which, in an ideal world, they never would.
–Lily
Tough Guy
You know you’re a tough guy when you can handle a sleeping, slobbery woofie on your back paws for 30 seconds.
Do it for more than half a minute and you’re no longer tough; you’re insane.
–Darth Vader
Caves with Windows
Caves are good and so are windows. Curtain-caves adjacent to windows are the best of all.
–Finnegan
