Don’t be jealous!
It takes an enormous amount of time, effort and licks to look this good.
–Quicksilver
Ageless
Human Mommy, you spend ages in the bathroom in the morning, applying various creams, powders, and Cat-Knows-What to your huge, naked face, in a futile attempt to appear “younger.”
May I make a suggestion?
Just grow out your face fur to cover your wrinkles.
Seriously, look at me. I’m positively ageless.
–Amber
Stockings
It’s important to keep clean all year long, but particularly in the winter as you don’t want the snow to outshine your pretty white stockings.
–Lily
A Good Brushing
A brushing from Human Daddy feels so good that we are willing to wait our turn patiently.
Mmmmm… The tummy brushing is the best part.
–Stella, Darth Vader and Quicksilver
The Finest
A finer specimen than me there’s never been nor ever will be.
–Darth Vader
Do Not Disturb
It’s never wise to disturb a Queen, particularly when she’s napping.
–Amber
You call that a scratching post?
Don’t get me wrong–those flimsy sisal scratching posts the Humans procure for us at the pet shop are nice and all.
But if you want a superior pawdicure, nothing beats raking your claws over the rough bark of a mature oak.
–Lily
Even more beautiful
Your next selfie can always be more beautiful than the last. Simply rotate your body, stretch out your front legs and stare at the camera as if to say “Selfies are done, but I still do them better than anyone else.”
–Amber
Essential Beauty Regime
Human Women can waste a lot of time, money and space accumulating random bottles and tubes and powders to use in their beauty routine. Amateurs…
We Girl Cats know better. All you need to look your best is a sandpaper – like tongue for grooming and exfoliating, a high protein diet for to keep your fur glossy and your muscles toned, and a minimum of 16 hours of beauty sleep per day.
–Amber
Good Posture
Good posture is essential to beauty. Stretch your spine regularly so that you can saunter about with balletic grace.
–Lily
Daily Feline Wisdom 