Woofies grow up too fast. That is why it is essential to train them when they are relatively small, preferably smaller than you, in order to instill a proper respect for Cats in them.
In the Woofies’ imagination, I will always be a Lion.
–Quicksilver
This may not look comfortable but it is. I swear it is, for the both of us, honest.
–Cosmo
In response to the comnents on my earlier post, please allow me to submit photographic evidence that I still fit on Human Daddy’s lap, sort of.
–Cosmo
In my defense, it’s hard to resist unstuffing a stuffy, particularly a stuffy shaped like a giant cookie.
Santa Claws, I really hope that this won’t remove me from the nice list. I mean, you like cookies too, right?
–Cosmo
I’m a Good Puppy, Santa Claws. I haven’t even barely nibbled on Mr. Gingerbread Man yet.
–Cosmo
It’s cute when the Humans try to train your Woofies.
Keep a sharp eye out, though. You don’t want the Humans undoing your hard work.
–Quicksilver
Stretch, stretch, stretch! Eventually you will become so long that your front and back paws will touch opposite sides of the futon mattress, so long as you don’t eat the mattress first.
–Stella
If you are a Pup Scout, it’s very important to watch your Human Daddy carefully when he makes a fire so that you can learn to do it, too, and earn a merit badge.
–Cosmo
Do your parents not understand your style? For example, are they constantly telling you to fix your ears because they’re inside-out?
Don’t pay them any mind. They mean well, but they’re too old to know that it’s trendy to expose the pink insides of your floppy ears to match your pretty pink collar.
–Stella
Sometimes you have to apologize.
For example, you should apologize after you chew the back plates off of the supposedly indestructible dinosaur Human Mommy procured for you 2 days ago on Amazon Prime.
Sorry pink Stegosaurus.
Sorry Couch.
Sorry Futon mattress.
Sorry decorative wood trim, various shoes, wooden coffee table, etc.
You were all delicious, if it makes it any better, which it probably doesn’t.
Sorry for your extinction.
–Cosmo
Daily Feline Wisdom 