Who is crueler, Human Daddy, who makes an unreasonable rule like no Cats in the bedroom while the Humans are at work, or Human Mommy who enforces said rule?
You know what would be nice, Santa Claws? A new, comfy doggy bed. The floor is hard, Santa Claws, and we believe the Meowies have perfumed our blanket more than once.
It’s hard to wait for Human Daddy’s lap, particularly when there is a Meowie installed on his lap, making snide comments about how you no longer fit anyway.
Humans, you have not known true joy until you have stumbled out of bed to find yourself surrounded by a pride of lions.
Coffee can wait. Get busy opening our cans of wet food. They don’t call us apex predators for nothing and there is only one of you and seven of us, not counting the new cub upstairs.
–Darth Vader, Phelps, Lily, Charlie, Quicksilver, Amber and Finnegan