Did your Human Mommy forget to pick up kitty treats when she went to the hunting ground she calls the supermarket? Don’t delay in deploying the guilt trip. Make your yellow eyes as big as saucers and suck in your furry belly as much as possible so that she understands that her forgetfulness will likely result in your starvation before either of you make it through the front door.
–Darth Vader
Sometimes you bound out of bed in the morning, brimming with energy and plans for the day ahead. Sometimes when you get to the end of the hallway, you realize that you might have been just a little over enthusiastic about the whole morning thing.
Plop yourself down on the floor and have a good snooze.
It’s what your body wants.
–Lily and Amber
A manly breakfast consists of pure protein served al fresco on a stone.
–Quicksilver and Phelps
Gentlemen(cats), if you are planning on wearing sandals, give yourself a pawdicure first.
Varnish is optional.
–Finnegan
Humans need to read the kibble ingredient list very carefully.
We Cats eat cat kibble.
The Woofies eat dog kibble.
We Cats are a proper size.
The Woofies have grown to the size of small Horses.
Pay closer attention to the dog kibble additives, Humans.
Seriously, how big do you want the Woofies to get?!
–Darth Vader
Don’t let anyone tell you your chosen box is too tight just because you can’t quite squeeze in your tail. Tight boxes are always in fashion in the summer and it’s all right to let your tail hang out when the temperatures soar.
–Lily
Should your Humans install a rock garden, make sure that the rocks they choose correspond with your fur.
–Quicksilver
The best Conventions are arranged in the highest traffic areas, such as the upstairs hallway, to minimize the Conventioneers’ travel time and maximize the possibility of tripping the clumsy Humans.
–Darth Vader, Finnegan, Lily and Amber
Even though you may miss your Humans while they are away at the mysterious place they call “work,” you have to admit that their absences allow for more uninterrupted nap time.
It would be nice if they made the bed, though, before leaving. Just saying…
–Finnegan and Darth Vader
If you are persistent, all doors will eventually open for you, even the magical ones.
–Amber
