Don’t be disappointed when Human Daddy brings you to the mysterious place he calls “work.”
It’s less exciting than you imagined but it’s still the best place in the whole wide world because you’re there with your Daddy.
–Cosmo and Stella
No judgment
Are your Humans hitting the vino kind of hard while watching the election returns tonight?
Remind them that it’s a work night, but don’t judge them too harshly, so long as they pour you a tunatini, a niparita, a Catmopolitan or the cocktail of your choice.
Elections are stressful for all of us.
–Amber
Royalty
Puppy Princesses need their beauty sleep. So do Cat Queens.
Nothing prevents us from napping together once and awhile.
We’re all royalty, after all.
–Stella and Amber
Well trained Woofies
You know you have trained your Woofies well when you can bask comfortably on your front walkway on an unseasonably warm day without the slightest fear of unwanted sniffs.
–Quicksilver
Puppy Eyes
Are your Humans trying to enforce an unreasonable rule* like “no furry children in the bedroom while the Humans are away at the mysterious place they call ‘work’?”
Time to deploy the Puppy Eyes and a grand Puppy Yawn.
–Stella and Cosmo
*This rule is obviously unreasonable because we have nothing good to lounge on in our living room given that we have eaten all of our futon mattresses, our couch, a comfy side chair and a footrest.
Nonchalance
Relax, cross your front paws, look at the cell phone as if you don’t care how the photo turns out.
Nothing is cooler than nonchalance.
–Darth Vader
Sweet and Tough
A great guard Cat can be sweet and tough simultaneously. For example, you can bestow a lap cuddle on a deserving Human while training your steely, intimidating gaze on the perimeter of the fort.
–Phelps
Nicknames
It’s nice to have a nickname. For example, my Humans sometimes call me “Mr. Spaghetti Legs.”
–Finnegan
Obligate Carnivores
Humans, dinner time is upon us. What is this? Is this a leaf?
What part of “obligate carnivore” did you not understand?
–Phelps and Quicksilver
Trick-or-treat?
How does the trick-or-treat thing work, Humans? Do I need to do a trick like paw-shake or high-paw? Do you want to smell my feet?
Seriously, I don’t care about the costumes. I just want to maximize my TREATS.
–Cosmo
