A brushing from Human Daddy feels so good that we are willing to wait our turn patiently.
Mmmmm… The tummy brushing is the best part.
–Stella, Darth Vader and Quicksilver
Double Standard
Humans, you would never, ever even think about putting antlers on the Meowies, would you?
I maybe should have asked for cat-like claws for Dogsmas.
–Cosmo
Naughty List
Dear Santa Claws,
So this is pretty much what it looks like, but please let us explain. Human Daddy left us all alone to do some last minute shopping and Human Mommy abandoned us in favor of a late morning nap upstairs. What were two teething, bored, lonely Dogs supposed to do?
It’s Dogsmas Eve, Santa Claws, so we imagine that you are already in your sleigh, busy delivering toys to nice Puppies in the most distant time zones.
Surely it is too late to add us to the Naughty List?
Woofs and Wags,
Cosmo and Stella
Tree Inspector
I would never dream of damaging the Catsmass Tree, Humans. Au contraire! I’m the official tree inspector.
–Amber
Cure for Insomnia
Are you having trouble falling asleep because you keep thinking about the wily squirrel that barely, just barely, got away from you?
Try imitating the nearest Meowie. Cats know the most comfortable sleeping positions–you’ll be out like a light in no time.
–Cosmo
Training
Treadmills are great for increasing the Rookie Kitten’s strength, speed and endurance.
Before you turn on the treadmill, make sure the Rookie Kitten is facing the right way.
–Drill Master Phelps
Bad Counters
Humans are bad at counting. For example, there are three of us here, but only two bones.
Oh well… I suppose the Woofies will have to share the smaller bone.
–Quicksilver
New Recruit
When sizing up new recruits to the Guard Cat Academy, it’s important to assess their physical size, but even more important to measure the size of their personality.
Oh boy… I’ve got my paws full with this one.
–Phelps
Top Drawer
For a relaxing nap, nothing beats the top drawer but any drawer will do in a pinch.
–Lily
Early Dogsmas
Thank you for our early Dogsmas gift, Santa Claws! This new bed is much more comfortable than the cold, hard floor.
We promise we won’t gnaw through it to pull out its delectable stuffing until next year at the earliest.
–Cosmo and Stella
