Maintain order in your castle by adopting an air of magnificent inscrutability.
–Darth Vader
Then we remember…
Sometimes, humans, we wonder why we keep you around. Then we remember that you have opposable thumbs and that we have trained you to use them to our advantage.
–Amber, Darth Vader, Phelps, Quicksilver, Lily and Finnegan
Snake Hunter
When it’s too cold to hunt birds outside, amuse yourself by preying on the puppy’s toys strewn around the living room. The squeaky boa constrictor befits a young, bored lion, though it would be even better if the snake were filled with nip.
–Finnegan
Making Friends
It is not always easy to make new friends. Just keep being friendly by wagging your tail and following your potential friend around. Admittedly, there’s a fine line between “following” and “chasing” and your potential friend would probably prefer that you refrain from nipping at her undulating, stripy tail until you are in a committed relationship and she has swiped at nose no fewer than 47 times.
It’s hard to make friends.
–Cosmo
Sharing
When sharing a bed, it is important to stay on your own side.
–Darth Vader and Cosmo
Youth versus Experience
When you are a young cat, you want to stalk birds all day every day of the year. As you mature, you realize that it is better to stay inside on chilly winter mornings, particularly if your humans are frying up turkey bacon. There is more than one way to get your fill of bird.
–Quicksilver
Equanimity
Power stems from equanimity. Your actions will never land on four paws until you relax and find balance with your surroundings.
–Lily
Pick-Me-Up
Everyone needs an occasional pick-me-up. Sit beside the coffee maker long enough and your humans will offer you a milky latte or better yet a can of tuna.
–Quicksilver
Water Conservation
It’s not that cats don’t like water; we just don’t like seeing our humans wasting it on baths and showers. Water is for hydrating oneself ; tongues are for grooming oneself.
–Charlie
Intense Workouts
Does your workout feel too intense? Take a break by collapsing on the treadmill. Call it yoga if that eases your conscience.
–Amber
