Some of the best parties have good company but subpar Woofie food.
Sniff the food politely and then find a mutually stimulating topic of conversation like squirrels.
–Darth and Charlie
The food smells delicious to me. Just saying…
–Cosmo
Get some Bed Time
Are the Meowies locked in a seemingly endless, inter-feline dispute over who gets to nap on the new mattress when?
Take advantage of the situation and stretch yourselves out on the disputed territory.
Multilateral cat negotiations take time, time that you can spend napping in comfort.
–Stella and Cosmo
Shaken not stirred
There are Woofies on the couch and politics on TV.
Life is stressful.
The Humans have their beverages of choice.
You are well within your rights to order a tunatini to help yourself cope.
–Quicksilver
Don’t mind the parrot…
Get up high, as high as possible, when the Woofies are careening around your backyard like a pair of wild ponies.
Don’t mind the parrot–he can look out for himself.
–Amber
Run/Fly
Run.
Run as hard as you can.
When three of your four paws lift off the ground, you’ll fly.
–Cosmo
Grudges
Cats hold grudges. The Cats told us that as Human Mommy had abandoned us for 2.5 days we owed her 3 days of coldness, as Cats operate in whole numbers and always round up when punishment is involved.
We tried. We respect the Meowies and generally try to do what they suggest as we don’t want them to claw our eyes out.
But then we got marrow bones. We can only focus on a couple of things at once, at best, and marrow bones take up all of our concentration.
It’s impossible to hold a grudge when you’ve got a marrow bone.
–Stella and Cosmo
Sleeping Arrangements
Are there Woofies on your bed? Go up high. You might even make new friends, like Mr. Donkey and the friendly dragons on the paper lantern the Humans never did figure out how to install.
–Amber
Nothing is Lost
With a good sniffer, nothing is ever truly lost, not even the frisbee that was “misplaced” in the underbrush for several months.
–Cosmo
Try Something New
Are your Woofies getting too big? Have your Humans done nothing to slow their alarming growth rate?
Perhaps it’s time to sample the Woofies’ additive – rich cuisine so that you can expand from properly sized domestic cat to wild cheetah or panther as appropriate.
–Amber and Darth Vader
Love Bites
Biting your loved ones doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It just means you’re still teething.
–Stella
Daily Feline Wisdom 