O.M.D.! This show is so boring!
It’s putting us Dogs to sleep!
Can’t you change the channel, Human Daddy? –Xena
Shush, Little Xena! I let you Woofies watch two whole episodes of “Pit Bulls and Parolees” this afternoon.
Now it’s my turn to binge-watch Jackson Galaxy. –Amber
Luna: Excuse me but that box is mine. I reserved it on PawBook.
Quicksilver: How can this box be yours? I jumped in it almost as soon the servants…er… Humans removed its contents!
Luna: See my confirmation code on PawBook/FutureEmptyBoxReserve?
Quicksilver: Fine! It’s yours.
Quicksilver: (sotto meow) Millenials!
–Luna and Quicksilver
“When will you get over your shoe obsession, Xena?” asks Human Mommy.
“Never, Human Mommy…”
“…NEVER.”
–Xena
Is this another one of your “work” days, Humans?
You must be venturing out, then…
Don’t forget to pick up ‘Nip on your way back home.
–Darth Vader
In or out?
This dichotomous question has occupied the Feline intelligentsia for millennia.
The only solution we have found is purely pragmatic.
Leave all doors open at all times, Humans.
–Lily
I’d stand on my hind legs all day…
…everyday…
…to bring myself closer to your kisses.
I love you, Human Daddy.
–Cosmo
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
Tell me I’m the prettiest, the stripiest, the glossiest Kitty you’ve ever known…
Then substantiate those sweet nothings with something, such as cream, tuna or ‘Nip.
–Lily
There are alternatives to the traditional tux…
Try grey and white…
Or gold and platinum.
–Quicksilver and Finnegan
I know that the Meowies have already attempted to roust you for Food o’clock, Human Mommy, but my request is even more urgent.
I need to go potty! Now!
–Stella
It’s late. I’m hungry. Where have you been?
Work, you say?
A likely story!
–Orzo, Guest Contributor
