A finer specimen than me there’s never been nor ever will be.
–Darth Vader
Correction
Dear Santa Claws,
I hope there is still time to make a correction to my Catsmas list! I thought I wanted a teething toy, but I have since discovered that Human Mommy’s fingers do the job just fine.
Could I request a can or two or three or baker’s dozen of tuna instead?
–Luna
Dinnertime
Dinnertime is upon us, Humans.
May we assume that you have planned an appropriately meaty menu for us?
–Quicksilver and Charlie
Don’t read too much into this
Sure, we are holding left front paws and Darth Vader’s right front paw is draped over my tail. Don’t read too much into it, Humans. We’re Bros, but we’re not exactly BFFS, you know?
–Cosmo
Great Boots!
Don’t be shy about giving compliments. For example, if your Human Mommy just got a pair of tall, lace-up boots, tell her how much you love them, especially the laces.
–Luna
Doppelcatter
Occasionally, you may come face to face with your Doppelcatter. Ignore him. The resemblance isn’t all that striking and you’re obviously handsomer than him anyway.
–Finnegan and Charlie
While you are out…
While you are out, Humans, the Meowies catch up on their requisite 18 hours of daily sleep while we Dogs wait anxiously for your return.
–Cosmo and Stella
Newfound Celebrity
The omnipresence of the paparazzi is one of the hardest things to get used to when you become a star. Don’t sweat it. So long as you keep your pretty whiskers groomed and your shirt front bright white, you’ll never take a bad photo.
–Luna
Cruel and Crueler
Who is crueler, Human Daddy, who makes an unreasonable rule like no Cats in the bedroom while the Humans are at work, or Human Mommy who enforces said rule?
–Darth Vader
Dear Santa Claws
You know what would be nice, Santa Claws? A new, comfy doggy bed. The floor is hard, Santa Claws, and we believe the Meowies have perfumed our blanket more than once.
–Stella and Cosmo
Daily Feline and Canine Wisdom 