What do you mean it’s not dinner time yet? By our watches, it’s half-past food o’clock.
What, you thought we Cats didn’t observe Daylight Savings Time?
–Quicksilver, Darth Vader, Lily and Finnegan
Prelude to a Nap
Prelude to a nap or to a challenging yoga routine?
For us Cats, there is no difference. The best yoga is performed asleep and the best naps entail positions that make Humans wonder if we share a common ancestor with Silly Putty.
–Lily
Drown your Sorrows
Are your pretty Daffodils menaced by Stella, the winter storm not the clumsy Woofie? Is there absolutely nothing you can do to keep them safe?
Don’t let the Daffodils sense your concern. Don’t fill their innocent, petaled heads with thoughts of their untimely demise.
Feel free, though, to drink away your sorrows at the Lion’s Head Tavern.
–Phelps
Reputation
Careful, Kitties. There’s a fine line between being known as a friendly Feline and as a lap Cat.
–Luna
The same goes for Puppies.
–Cosmo
Severe Weather
I’m going to swat your face, Big Sis Lily!
Au contraire, Little One. Don’t you see my mighty paw bearing down on your head?
I will transform myself into a kitten-tornado, Big Sis.
And my tail will become a tsunami, Little One.
–Luna and Lily
Technical Issues
Are you having technical issues? Is your printer refusing to spit out papers for shredding and gnawing purposes the way it should?
Take a moment and imagine yourself on top of a lovely, aged log.
Feel better?
No?
I don’t blame you–technology is super annoying.
–Quicksilver
Power Corrupts
Power corrupts but absolute power controls the remote control absolutely.
–Luna
Ice Fishing
Has your pond frozen over due to the recent cold snap? No worries. Time for a spot of ice fishing.
–Finnegan
Multifunctional Toys
What do you mean frisbees are for fetch and not for tug? That’s like me saying that your smartphone is for calling people and not for photographing Puppies.
–Cosmo
Parallel Parking
Humans, do you ever feel like your Cats are judging your parallel parking skills only to find them lacking?
It’s not all in your mind. We are judging you.
–Darth Vader
Daily Feline Wisdom 